Many years has passed, Peter or “Sir Pot of Saucepan Hill” as he had been called since he had mended the kings teapot, had grown up into a fine young man. You would not say he was exactly handsome, as in all the best stories, but despite his slightly gangly looks, the girls in the village of Leapington all thought it worth their while to try and get him to dance with them at the summer fair. After all he was a knight!

Peter was happy, but he knew that there was more to the world than Leapington, and he wanted to see it all

I’ve heard there are giants tall as the sky
A sea the colour of a dragons eye.
I’ve heard stories of lands where strange creatures fly.
I must see it all.

Chorus:

I must go and find them I must see it all,
To learn all the wonders, I must see it all
There’s a place out there somewhere, can’t you hear it call ?
I must, I must, I must see it all.

There’s places so dark, the sun never does shine,
Preciuss stones that are dug in some deep dark mine
Lands where tis said, the folks talk just in rhyme
I must see it all.

Chorus:

I must go and find them I must see it all,
To learn all the wonders, I must see it all
There’s a place out there somewhere, can’t you hear it call ?
I must, I must, I must see it all.

There’s lands there a plenty, where I long to go
From the hottest of deserts, to lands covered in snow
Millions of things that I long to know
I must see it all

Chorus:

I must go and find them I must see it all,
To learn all the wonders, I must see it all
There’s a place out there somewhere, can’t you hear it call ?
I must, I must, I must see it all.

Sir Pot had been planning to leave for Leapington for some time, and had been mending all the old pots and pans that had been left lying around by the old blacksmith. He hoped to sell these on the way to help with food and lodging on his journey.

So one day Sir Pot loaded himself with all the mended pots and pans, and set off on a f discovery. He had wanted to leave Leapington quietly, but the crashing and banging that the pots made as he walked along, soon brought the people of the village to their doors, to see what the noise was.

You can hear him coming from miles away
With a bang, crash and jingle
Sir Pot is leaving Saucepan Hill
Goodbye, good luck be with you

Peter journey for many days, selling his pots, and fixing others in exchange for food and a place to stay. Indeed he did so many strange things and had many adventures.

One day Sir Pot was lost, or that’s what it seemed, one moment he had been walking along, making his normal bang crash, jangle, along a gentle winding path, through some woods. The next moment the path had disappeared, and the woods have turned into a deep dark forest.

Sir Pot wondered around for hours, going deeper and deeper and deeper into the forest, which got darker and darker until the trees seemed to black out the sky.

Suddenly he came upon a small clearing in the middle of which stood a very small sinister house. Now in all stories such houses are the homes of witches or other such evil creatures, this one was no exception. When Sir Pot knocked on the door, it was opened by and aged witch, not an exceptionally ugly witch, but a witch all the same.

"Can you help me" said Sir Pot "I seem to be lost"

"What's it worth" winged the witch "If I do help you ?"

"Well" said Sir Pot "I have these pots and pans, and I will gladly try  and mend anything you have that is broken"

The witch gave an ear piercing cackle, as only witches know how to do !

"Come in" she said "I have just the job for you"

She lead him into the dark cottage, the air smelt like bad eggs, and there were all kinds of pots and jars, and strange shapes on every shelf, and hanging from every beam. In the corner stood a very thin looking billy goat.

I'm a witch, a very good witch
I've spells for every ache or itch
I'll turn people into frogs
I turn cats right into dogs
I turn villages into bogs
At a hitch

I'm a witch, Madeira the witch
I've no cat, that is the hitch
I've tried toads up to a stoat
Now I've got one that's a dote
Just a daft old billy goat
Isn't that rich?

At this point, she gave the poor old billy goat such a whack with her broom, that Sir Pot could swear he heard the goat's horns ring.  

"Excuse me Madeira", said Sir Pot in his very best voice, "But you did say  you had something for me to fix."

"Oh yes", said the witch Madeira, stopping beating the poor old billy goat, "Come with me boy."

The witch took Sir Pot to the corner of the cottage, where stood a huge metal cauldron.  

"My number one cauldron, big enough for cooking goats or boys", she added under her breath, "Mend it by tomorrow, and you will go safely on your way.  Fail and you will see what I can see I can cook in my number two cauldron.  To make sure you can't run away", said the witch, "I will place you inside the number one cauldron, as it is much too big for you to climb out of, so you can't then escape."

So, with a wave of her broom, Sir Pot found himself inside the cauldron.  

"Anything you require to help you fix the cauldron, just ask the goat." At this, she let out such an evil laugh, that all the bottles and bits and pieces in the room shook, and the goat hid his head in a bucket.

The witch then started singing a little song.

 

Pot number one, oh what fun, goat for tea, just for me.
Pot number two, human stew, that will do, just for me.

She thought this most funny as she climbed on her broomstick, and set off to spread her nasty ways far and wide.  

"Well", said Sir Pot to the goat, "It would seem it's either you or me, Mr. Billy Goat."

Sir Pot looked out the hole in the cauldron.  It was a very big hole and did not look like it could be mended.  "It looks like it's me then."

The goat then started to move towards the number one cauldron, and then, to butt it.  

"What are you doing?" shouted Sir Pot, as the cauldron started to rock, backwards and forwards.

"Rock backwards and forwards" Sir Pot repeated the words that the orator of the story had just said. "Of course !"

Each time the goat butted the coldrum, Sir Pot tried to help rock it a bit more. By this time the poor old goat was not only seeing stars but several small planets as well. At last with a huge crash!, clang!, wallop!, the coldrum tipped right over and out fell Sir Pot all over the goat.

"Oh nobody done Sir Billy Goat" said Sir Pot cuddling the head of the still dazed goat, "Yes that is what I will call you, Noble Bill"The goat gradually coming to his senses seemed like this, after all how many goats were called "Noble".

"Right" said Sir pot "the next thing we need to do is to plan how to get rid of the witch. Sir Pot paced around the room and soon started to sing a little song.

What to do, what to do
How to avoid a witches brew
Make a plan, make a plan,
For witch stew not goat or man.

Suddenly he stopped of course a witch stew instead, with a great deal of huffing and puffing, and help from the now recovered goat, Sir Pot managed to put the pot back on the fire. Then after whispering into Noble Bills ear, he set about filling the coldrum with water, then taking his jacket he placed it on the top of the water.

He then hid behind the pile of rubbish in the corner of the hut. Noble Bill playing his part in the plan, just munched his hay.

The witch returned cackling loudly and looking forward to her meal

Man or goat, goat or man
Got to eat them when you can
In the pot, in the pot
Fill your belly, eat the lot

She burst into the house, ready to fill herself with goat and man stew. In the dimly lit room she saw Sir Pots coat floating in the now bubbling coldrum. She peaked closer to see what was in the pot, when suddenly Noble Bill with all the strength he could muster, charged and butted the old witch straight into the coldrum. Where she disappeared in a horribly smelly cloud of smoke.

Sir Pot hugged the goat, "well done Billy, that really was a noble thing to do, in fact exactly what one would expect from a goat called Noble Bill"

So our hero and new found friend, "Noble Bill" set off along the path leading out of the forest

 

THE END!
Barry Eva 1990 

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